I’ll milk a pun till the cows come home.

I’m coming home to headline the Comedy Underground, my home club, and I think you should come down and be there.

Tickets

My beautiful and talented girlfriend, Alice Wetterlund is in a national commercial, and I did nothing to show it off. Probably because I know deep down inside I will eventually have to quit comedy and be her assistant like Selena’s dad. She just filmed another national commercial, which means she’s winning the TV competition we’re having, wait I was on 3 minutes of Last Comic Standing. Tie!

Shark Jumps! from Free Comedy! on Vimeo.

I always say that I’m going to update this, and then I remember that no one is asking me to, but I’m gonna…

The video I did above, is with the Free Comedy guys, and they’re great. I’m a robot.

I can’t grow facial hair.

I don’t know about you guys, but I’m sick of needing an excuse to eat peanut butter, or the dirty looks I get when I have a spoonful sans anything else, while walking down the street. That’s why I’m happy that America, and capitalism are getting on board, and making more receptacles for peanut butter so that I can get my daily intake with out it being gross or weird. The most recent good news being Snickers deciding to come to their senses,and join the peanut butter gang. That’s what I call it, the peanut butter gang, yes I’m the president, and yes, I’m working on a hand sign.

Oh yeah, and also I’m coming home for New Year’s Eve to do a couple shows. I’ll be at the Kirkland Performing Arts Center to ring in 2011, headlining the Tacoma Underground the next night, and co-headlining Laffhole at Chop Suey, with Scott Moran the night of the 5th. Come to all of them, or come to none of them. You can’t also just come to one of them.

OMG this Friday I have the pleasure of headlining the 3 Chord Comedy Show at Velvet Lounge in Northwest DC. The show is about the best thing you can do on a Friday in November, in DC, in 2010. Co-produced by the BYT crew and stacked witha slew of really funny comics. Its $5 dollar you should be forced to spend legally, but I don’t want Rand Paul and Co. protesting it. So if you’re in the DC area this Friday, please come out to this show, 7pm, it’s voluntary, but for reals, let’s rekindle our Kindles you guys.

I made two videos promoting the NFL, completely unsolicited by the NFL. Why? Because when the Tea Party starts holding their Patriotism Inquisitions we’re gonna all want to have proof that we love America. That guy in them is Travis Vogt, he and another comic, Kevin Clarke, do amazing sketch comedy and videos. They’re awesome, and their most recent awesome thing is called Adventure Buddies. I’m going to try and make more of these, hopefully the NFL buys them and then I can afford more pants. I have two pairs.

I just found this video, and boy does this guy not understand the It Gets Better Project. I guess he thinks its all about sweaters? Although he’s pretty good looking, what a freak!

I did the Jimmy Fallon show lastnight, and it was quite possibly the most fun I’ve had ever.